


Hang on Tight

by HorribleThing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorribleThing/pseuds/HorribleThing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A vampire, a werewolf, a succubus, and a fae walk into a bar.</p>
<p>But before that, they have to meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hang on Tight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MadameHardy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameHardy/gifts).



> I attempted to write you some fic inspired by The Tempest, but what I was writing just wasn't 1920s enough to be what you wanted. I'll finish it some day, but not for this!
> 
> Anyway, you said id fic as one of your options. Most of my id fic would be much darker than anything you would enjoy. But I have a shameful love of supernatural AUs, as cliche as they are. So here: have my cheesy, awful supernatural AU that is surprisingly mundane. This is the type of thing that makes me happy. I'm so sorry.
> 
> (At least one of you will know who I am from this.)

She can smell the club from a block away which is... not quite what she expected.  She’s more of a homebody (or forest-surrounding-her-home-body) than a social type, but Rose is fairly certain that a club shouldn’t smell like _that_ from that far away.

And especially on a Tuesday.

Normally, Rose would take this as a sign to head back to the garage she’s paying too much money to park her car in and head back home.  Well, normally she wouldn’t be here in the first place.  But tonight she’s playing the supportive sister.  And she really, genuinely wants to now that she’s able to see Dave again after being kept away from him for so long.  So she ignores her better judgement and forges ahead.  Perhaps Dave really has become such a popular DJ that the club-goers are working themselves into a frothing mess.

From the outside it smells overwhelming.

Inside it smells like a cheap hotel on prom night.

(She really has been spending too much time with Dave lately.)

The dance floor is full.  A mass of bodies grinding together that looks like some sort of Boschian nightmare.  Or fantasy.  It’s always so hard to tell with Bosch.  It looks like articles of clothing have been discarded and the sounds people are making are warring with the bass pounding from the speakers.  Her brother is surprisingly not in the booth, but leaning against the bar and taking in the spectacle.  He seems tired, but in the boneless way you see in a contented cat.  She hasn’t seen him this at ease since he was turned.

“Dave, not that I doubt your abilities as a DJ, but I suspect that not all of this is from your ‘mad skills.’  Especially since you have a premade mix on.”

“Wish I could take credit, but this is all on her over there,” he says, pointing to a woman at the other end of the bar who seems to be enjoying the show.  It looks like just about everyone in the club has bought her a drink from the way the counter behind her is filled.  “Gives off a whole vibe of ‘I’m not human, let’s do the do.’  We made out earlier and I jizzed my favorite jeans twice and I didn’t even care.  Still don’t even care.  Then I took a power nap… without really returning the favor so I’m pretty sure that’s why she looks like she wants to play whack a mole with my dick.”  As if on cue, the woman’s attention shifts from the person trying to pull her into the borderline orgy to Dave.  He instinctively takes a step back, and Rose can’t help but smile just a bit.

The first thing Rose really notices about her are her eyes, a green so neon and bright they look like they’ve been marked by a highlighter, as if to say ‘pay attention to this, you will want to remember.’  Still, it’s a strange thing to notice first, especially when her hair seems to be bigger than she is.  Rose focuses on her, pushes through the astringent burn of alcohol and the musk of the people grinding on the dancefloor and the stomach churning sweetness of too many fragrances to find the scent of the young woman glaring at Dave like he wronged her entire family.

Rose smells fields of flowers blooming in the sun, the kind that make her want to stretch out, lazy.  She smells figs drenched in honey, honey dripping off of fingers that she wants to lick clean.  She smells blood, and Rose knows what that comes from her own want, because the woman doesn’t have a drop of it on her.  Or a drop of it in her.

( _She smells wet earth and trees and moss and tiny animals hiding in the underbrush, smells the scent of animals that were there before and everything is prey and no, she doesn’t want these things, she doesn’t._ )

It takes her a moment to catch her breath, to compose herself before she speaks to Dave again.

“Well I’m not surprised you pulled the trigger so quickly.  She’s a succubus.”

“Are you fucking serious.”  His eyebrows are perilously high.

“Yes Dave.”

“A succubus.” 

“Yes Dave.  I knew that they existed, but I didn’t know that we had one locally.”  It makes sense though.  From what she’s heard succubi and incubi tend to favor metropolitan areas, and there are certainly enough people and supernatural beings within the city to provide ample feeding grounds for one.

“Holy fucking shit,” Dave says, seeming to need a moment to process that.  And then he looks back at the succubus for a moment, thoughtfully.  “...You know, I kind of thought a succubus would be bigger than an A cup.”

“And I thought you would have more tact by now, but the universe likes to prove us wrong.”

On some level though, she has to agree with him.  From the moment Rose had learned from her mother that succubi actually existed, she had imagined someone looking a bit more Sophia Loren, or maybe even someone that looked like a swimsuit model for more of a mass appeal.  A woman wearing something tight and luxurious with high heels that should be impossible to walk in.  Someone wearing so many diamonds people wouldn’t think they were real.  She hadn’t pictured a woman about five feet tall in a floral sundress and sandals, a woman with impossible amounts of curly black hair and glasses like she’s been taking style tips from Iris Apfel.  (And they _are_ a style choice, because she knows that succubi don’t have health problems.) 

She’s pretty though.  More than pretty.  Beautiful in a way that feels old fashioned, but not the type of old fashioned one can pin a decade on, because even though most people will never know it, her life probably isn’t measured in decades but in centuries.

And it looks like Rose’s stare hasn’t gone unnoticed, because the succubus points to her with a smile and waves her over.  Rose looks at Dave, but he has conveniently pulled out his phone, and is doing a horrible job of pretending to not pay attention.   _Boys._  

Well, she isn’t one to turn down the summons of a pretty lady. 

“Hi there!  I saw that you were talking with Dave!  My name is Jade.  It’s nice to meet you!” Jade smiles, warm and friendly.  She’s even prettier up close, smells even better up close, and Rose has to squash down the urge to lick her face, because that is disgusting and most definitely not something she should do to a stranger, especially a stranger her brother just hooked up with. 

“Rose.  It’s a pleasure.”  She smiles, and Jade laughs.  It sounds like wind chimes on a breezy summer day. 

“Wow, you are definitely more charming than Dave!” Jade replies, grinning, and her teeth are large but perfectly straight and white.

“Well we’ve tried to teach him, but you’d swear that the boy was raised by crows.  Although the man that raised him was probably a worse influence than crows, really.”  Ugh.   _Bro._  “I’m sorry about Dave’s apparent failings by the way.”  She really does need to apologize.  He’ll tarnish the family name.  Okay, so Dave’s last name is different, but it’s still a valid concern. 

“No, it’s my fault really.  He looks like someone I like, so I was sort of taking advantage of that.  And maybe hoping that he would be as good of a lay.  He said he was a vampire and I made the mistake of not asking how long he’s been one for,” Jade tells her, slightly sheepish.   

“If I recall correctly, it should be about two months.”  Only Dave would get turned into a vampire and keep working without missing a gig. 

“Oh jeez!  I thought he was a little scrawny but he must have been pretty fit before he was turned to still look that good.  That… explains a lot though.”  Her confusion must be showing because Jade continues.  “Baby vampires are notoriously bad at sex.  Mature vampires are really good!  But the first few years after someone is turned they’re just a weak little baby with no stamina and the urge to sink their fangs into places you really shouldn’t be sinking your fangs into.”

“Well you talk about biting like it’s a problem, and I‘ve never had any complaints from the women I’ve been with.”  Why would she say something like that?  She needs to not say things like that. 

“I’m sure you haven’t.  Werewolves tend to have the opposite reputation!” 

Rose… did not actually know any of this.  Once she was turned her mother did her best to educated her about supernatural beings but everything felt much more formal than this.  There was no “sex ed for werewolves” or “what to expect from a vampire in bed.”  She wants to ask more, to learn more, because quite frankly the biting thing is a relief.  But maybe she’ll save that for another time. 

“Anyway, I’m done with this club!” Jade declares like it is a fact.  Like this club is officially _over_.  “But I know this nice little place that serves upscale bar food.  And something tells me that you could go for some steak tartare right now.  Or are you more or a carpaccio type?” 

“Tartare.  I like capers.”  Although with the full moon only a few days away, they could put a raw steak in front of her and she’d probably eat it.

“So do you want to join me?  I was thinking about asking Dave too.”

“Why not?  I’m feeling a bit peckish and the smell of Axe in here is starting to get overwhelming.  Besides, I don’t think I wore the right shoes for an orgy.”  Orgy shoes should probably have straps to keep them on.

Jade pushes herself away from the bar a little bit and walks towards Dave, who casually looks up from his phone like he wasn’t watching their entire conversation.  “Hey, want to come with us to grab some food?  Not that you can eat too, but we can probably find you someone to nibble on if you’re hungry.”

“Sounds cool.  I’m pretty sure we could turn the music off and all the lights on and no one here would notice at this point anyway.  And I’m good on food for now.  I had a delivery guy this morning.” 

“So did I!”

Well then.

“...I’m gonna go pack up my stuff and change into my spare jeans now.”

  
  


The bar is within walking distance, and not too long of one, which is a relief.  While Rose enjoys the fact that a good pair of heels will put her over six feet tall, she generally prefers standing and looking intimidating in them, conveniently close to some place where she can sit and look intimidating in them.  She is not her mother and Louboutins are not her footwear of choice.  The walks feels even shorter because on the way over Dave composes a rap apologizing for his sexual performance and she secretly records it for future leverage.  Hopefully Jade’s laughter isn’t so loud that it’s unusable.  It might make a nice ringtone.

From the outside it doesn’t look like much.  The same brick as all the other local buildings.  No windows, which is certainly foreboding.  A sign on the door reads closed, but Jade ignores it and knocks loudly.

“Sorry but like the sign says, we’re closed,” a voice on the other side of the door calls out.

“Only to tourists!” Jade responds automatically.  The door opens then, allowing them in.  The very androgynous… not human (she doesn’t recognize the smell, wild and spicy and steeped in magic) raises an eyebrow.

“They’re new _friends_ ,” Jade draws out the word like she’s teaching a foreign language.  “Maybe you should try making new _friends_ some time.”

“I didn’t say anything,” their tone is amused and arch.  They could give Rose a run for her money.

“And you better not!” Jade huffs.

The interior hits the pleasant balance between modern and intimate.  It’s chic and comfortable at the same time.  The neutral interior is lit up by different colored glowing lights, and briefly she thinks of will-o’-the-wisps leading people astray.  But she can’t dwell for long as Jade keeps walking forward towards a group standing in the open space by the bar. 

“-And then it turned out that I had switched the wrong babies!” Everyone standing around the young man laughs then, although Rose isn’t sure that she would find the story funny even if she knew the context.  He smiles when he sees their group and calls out, “Hey Jade!”  A pleased chorus of greetings follows from the rest of the group.

“Hi John,” she says, hugging him and staying with her arm around his side.  He’s only a few inches taller than her and chubby, a little baby faced.  From his just slightly messy hair to his just slightly rumpled green and blue plaid shirt, there’s something about him that looks studiously generic.  Like he could just melt in with a crowd.  “This is Rose and Dave.  I met them at a club!  Rose and Dave, this is John, movie aficionado extraordinaire and ultimate prankster.  John’s Grandma is the Queen of the Seelie Court, so he’s the heir of that too.”

And that has Rose at a loss for words.  Dave on the other hand apparently used up his speechlessness when he found out that he failed to sexually satisfy a succubus, so instead he goes for a ramble. 

“Should I be bowing or some shit like that?  I’m not exactly up on protocol.  Jade said, ‘hey, let’s get some food,’ not ‘hey, I’m going to introduce you to a species of supernatural creatures that you didn’t know were real and also royalty.’  Shit, I would have worn a suit or something.”

“Ugh, no wonder you like him, Jade.  He looks and acts just like the other guy,” John says, rolling his eyes.  Jade punches him lightly on the shoulder.

“Okay, one: no one looks and acts just like me.  This Strider charm is patented, but no one else can pull it off so I have to work nights at clubs instead of rolling around in fat stacks of cash from legal settlements.  Two: you like me huh?” And Dave smiles a little.  It’s cute. 

“Duh!  I wouldn’t have invited you guys out if you did.  You’re funny and no one has ever written me a rap apologizing for their dick before… which is pretty weird considering all the other songs that have been written for me!”

“But nothing about my undeniably hot bod?”

“Well you’re pretty cute, but Rose is clearly the gorgeous one in the family.”

“Your taste is much better than I initially thought, Jade,” she replies and the compliment feels better than she expected.  She fed off of praise in school and this feels even better.

“Ugh, I don’t know how you can be into them.  Human bodies are so weird,” John says it like human bodies are brussels sprouts.

“Maybe I’m into them because I’m a totally different species that eats human sexual energy?  Do you think that might be it?”  Jade looks over to Rose and Dave, then.  “Most fae take human forms and think ‘time to cause some trouble’ and then take their bodies for a fun little test drive.  John here is the only one to get sidelined by the fact that he has a belly button.”

“They’re weird okay!” John protests.  “And I don’t think it’s that strange that when I take on human genitals I don’t want to mash them together with other human genitals.”

“Well I suspect that’s why you’re not interested.  Mashing doesn’t sound very pleasant,” Rose tells him.

“It’s okay, dude.  I totally don’t understand how sex works either.  That’s what comes from going to school in Texas.  They say ‘Hey, maybe we should teach kids how this reproduction thing works.  Nah.  Just kidding.  We’ll tell them to wait until marriage and then see what happens.’  Because that works out so well for everyone.”

“Yes, except you went out of your way to do independent research on the internet… which was probably just as helpful really.”

“I found it pretty educational,”  Dave says, shrugging.

“And that’s why you think scissoring is actually a thing.”

“Oh no!” Jade definitely looks distressed at that news, and John grabs her by the elbow.

“Come on, let’s sit down and get some food before Jade decides that she needs to take him under her wing.  And trust me, dude, it’s not the kind of hands on fun that you’re hoping for.  There are charts and diagrams involved.”

John leads them to a comfortable corner booth where Jade makes sure to sit between her and Dave, something that Rose is pretty sure they’re both okay with.  Jade’s hair brushes up against her bare arm and it’s soft and makes her feel ticklish.  This incredibly close Jade’s scent is overwhelming, dizzying.  It reminds Rose of when she was a baby witch and would burn far too much incense, but without being cloying.  (She is still a witch, she just knows the appropriate amounts to burn at this point.)  It’s clear that Dave can smell her too, and Rose briefly wonders what scent he picks up from her.  But beyond Jade, that other scent still nags at Rose.  Something like what she picked up from the person attending the door.

There’s Jade, who smells rich and damn near intoxicating ( _no licking_ , not right now).  There’s Dave, who smells like clean laundry and the cologne he wears and his hair product and then nothing human or alive underneath, just wet stone.  But then John is like magic and spices and something that makes her feel like bubbles went up her nose or like she ate pop rocks.  Except that the whole place smells like this.  Like something similar. 

This is a fae bar.  This is fae territory.  She never thought that she would be getting food in a place aligned with another supernatural species.  All her life she’s done her best to avoid other supernatural beings all together.  They made things too complicated.  But then Dave got turned and she had at least one vampire stuck in her life.  (At least she doesn’t have to worry about hurting him anymore.  Much.  He’s still very fragile.)  And now she’s sitting with Dave and a very chipper succubus and the heir to the Seelie Court and it doesn’t feel strange.  She feels okay.  She’s… happy.

_Weird._  

“John, Jade.  What can I get for you and your guests tonight?” a server asks after approaching them.

“You guys want anything to drink?” Jade looks at her and John, politely passing over Dave.  His diet is rather limited now.

“As much as I would like to embrace the image of the debauched writer, I don’t consume alcohol,” Rose informs her.  Best to get that out of the way.

“Good to know!  Okay send us some of those sparkling fruit water things, whichever ones the chef thinks will be good with the food.  Rose wants the steak tartare with the frites and I… feel like indulging.  Surprise me!”

Indulging turns out to be small plate after small plate.  Burrata and prosciutto pizza.  Toast points and marrow.  A ‘broccoli’ slaw made with rapini and a lemony aioli.  Duck liver pate.  Crepes filled with goat cheese and roasted mushrooms.  Smoked oysters.  Figs wrapped in bacon.  Heirloom tomato salad.  Cream cheese pastry covered in fresh fruit and drenched in honey.  Jade shares everything with her, making it clear that she should try it all.  John doesn’t need to be told, having spent enough time with Jade that she knows what to save for him, what his favorite little morsels will be.  Dave asks if he can smell the food, and does so.  Forlornly.

They talk and eat, and after every dish the chef comes out and asks them if they like the food, although Rose gets the impression that she’s just being included as a courtesy.  Jade always replies with something like “It’s so good!” or “I can’t believe how tasty this is!” and the chef responds with a breathless little “I knew you’d like it,” before heading back to the kitchen.

Rose has never been so full in her life. 

At some point, Dave has started playing with Jade’s hair.  He combs his fingers through masses of curls, gently working through them like he’s checking for knots.  (There are none, her hair is perfect, like a fluffy black cloud.)  He slowly works upwards until he reaches the roots and starts to gently scratch and massage her scalp.   

“Mmmmm… I totally forgive you for earlier,” she sighs happily and tilts her head to guide where Dave massages.

“Well just a warning that you may need to forgive me again in a minute,” his voice is rawer than she’s heard before.  Honestly she never expected to hear Dave speaking in that sort of tone.  Embarrassed and eager and wanting.

“A lot can be forgiven when you’re that good with your hands I think,” Jade says, opening her eyes just slightly.

“Then I’m going to be seeking a lot of forgiveness.  It’ll be like that whole confession thing only instead of Hail Mary’s I’ll be giving out hairbrushing.  Instead of Our Father’s there will be scalp massages.  I don’t know any other Catholic prayers but I think you get my drift.”

“I like those things a lot!  I’m sure you can think of a few other things, too.”  Jade moves so that she’s half sitting in Dave’s lap and he breathes out slowly, moving his hands to her shoulders and neck.  Her legs have shifted so that they’re across Rose’s, the fabric of Jade’s skirt shifted upwards, the smooth skin of her thighs exposed.

John makes an expression like a little boy that has just walked in on his sister making out with someone, but then as the break in the conversation filled with only Jade’s happy little sighs stretches on, that expression turns into something wicked.  (And Rose respects him for it.)

“So,” John says with a grin that can only be described as shit eating.  “Have you talked to your grandpa lately?”

The shift is immediate.  Jade goes from sprawled out and content to rigid with irritation.  Dave makes sad little grabby hands as Jade pulls away from him.

“Oh my god I hate talking to him!” Her hands are balled up in fists on the table.  “He’s always saying things like ‘Gadzooks, Jade.  Every decade you disappoint me more and more.  You have yet to have a single world leader under your thrall.  You could have had Putin, Jade!  Putin!’  Does he ever stop and ask me if I want to have Putin?  Because I don’t.  That guy’s ego is big enough as it is.  He doesn’t need me adding to it.  Then again Grandpa also thought that I should go after Henry Tudor so I’m pretty sure his taste in men is one hundred percent awful.”

That is certainly not someone that she would expect Jade to refer to.  It seems like Dave is having the same thought.

“Wait.  Henry Tudor.  Henry VIII.  I know you’re not supposed to ask a lady this but I’m pretty damn sure you know I’m not a gentleman.  So the question stands: how old are you?”

Jade’s face goes very still and very serious.  She closes her eyes and breathes deeply before opening them again, looking almost pained.  Jade gravely answers:

“Old as balls.”

Rose accidentally snorts with laughter and Dave’s mouth drops open.

“That’s the joke right?  I got it right, didn’t I?”  Jade is centuries old.  She has slept with countless people.  She probably has more wealth than Rose can comprehend.  And she looks like an excited puppy after successfully referring to a meme.

It’s precious.

_Oh no._

“Yeah, you got it.  C’mon, don’t leave me hanging,” Dave says as he raises his fist for a fist bump, which Jade gleefully returns.

 

Another hour or so passes and the crowd dwindles, not because they’re tired but because they have other things to do.  (She doesn’t ask.  She wants to though.)  Jade becomes increasingly mysterious and increasingly charming, and John skyrockets up the list of people (beings?) unwilling to take Dave’s bullshit.  But even with the most engaging conversation, and the worst sleep schedule, Rose finds herself growing tired.  Tired enough that she doesn’t even fight when Jade pays for their meal. 

“I think we had better head out,” Jade says, squeezing Rose’s shoulder.

“I may be from Texas but barbecue is not a good scent on me.  And with the sun a few hours away it is time for all good little vampires hanging out in fae bars to go home and go to bed so that they don’t catch on fire or have their internal organs explode or whatever.  I don’t really know what happens.  My vampire mom is a bad mom.”

“Goodnight you guys,” John says grinning.  “You should stop by again some time.  Just don’t tell any humans about what this place really is or we’ll destroy you!”  He waves goodbye and she’s relatively certain that he’s not joking.

Outside the door the chef is leaning against the wall, waiting.  Jade gestures for him to hold on for a minute.

“That was really nice!  You’re really fun!  You should message me and we should hang out,” she says to Dave, hugging him, the kind of hug where her entire body presses up against his.  She stands up on her tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek before handing him what looks like a business card.  Then she turns to Rose.

“And you should message me too.”  Jade kisses the back of the business card, leaving a mark from her lip gloss before pressing the card into Rose’s hand, squeezing.

_No.  Licking._

“Have a lovely night,” Rose tells her.

“Yeah, sleep tight or whatever the hell succubi do.  Sleep with someone tight.”

“I would walk you guys back, but I have a brownie waiting for me and he makes the best breakfast in bed!”  She waves and heads off in the opposite direction.  Rose watches the chef, the brownie, put his arm around Jade’s shoulders as they walk away, watches Jade laugh, her cheeks flushed pink with happiness.  And Rose can’t stop the growl that comes out of her throat, low and guttural and menacing.

And embarrassing too, even though luckily Jade didn’t hear it.

“Oh my god, Rose, you are actually into her.”

“Shut up, Dave.”

“You actually think she’s cute and charming and you want to smooch her all over her pretty face and tell her how wonderful she is and write shitty poetry about it.”

“Shut up, Dave.”

“You are totally going to scissor.”

“Go home and wash your pants Dave.”

In a few hours the sun will be up, and Rose wonders how long she should wait to follow through and send that text without seeming too eager.  Two days?  Maybe three?  But then a succubus probably meets so many people… Jade might forget if she waits too long.  But does she want to potentially be involved with someone that would forget her so quickly?  This is why Rose has always had the policy of not getting involved with supernatural beings.  It’s always so complicated.  She can understand the human mind, but a succubus?  Does Jade even have organs?

However long she decides to take (she’s not even definitely contacting Jade oh who is she kidding of course she is), she holds out longer than Dave who manages to last about two minutes before sending a picture of a window in a thrift store with the text of “so which of these fashion mistakes have you made please tell me you used to have a closet full of kaftans.”,

It was a good night.

But her parking fee is going to be obscene.


End file.
